|
|
Wednesday, October 21st, 2009
|
|
|
Uhm...so...life is a fucking maze sometimes. I know the way...most of the time.
I guess when the dust all settles...I'm not a god after all. Not a revelation to most...but occasionally I forget that even I can get in a tough jam.
Not really sure what the next move is, I only know that I am going to do the best I can...not that I think it is enough.
Anyway...off to bed...and what dreams may come.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Wednesday, September 30th, 2009
|
|
|
Still not completely down with this new schedule. Need to keep working on my timing. I have not mastered the art of getting right to sleep in the morning. Seems to be the skill I have to work on. Being sick has not helped either.
Progress on my writing has slown to a crawl. I have yet to find a good time to work. In the old days, there would have been hours available. Now there are little gaps of minutes.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Thursday, September 24th, 2009
|
|
|
The last two weeks have flown by. These new hours have been a challenge to adapt to, but I am getting there. Need to get in touch with some people, but we seem to be on opposite schedules these days.
Uhm....yea, I guess that is about all I have to say about that...
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Sunday, September 13th, 2009
|
|
|
A and I were watching a silly movie, and she mentioned to me that she was in the mood for something sweet. I asked her if she had anything in mind (ok, actually I offerer her something covered in chocolate, but she declined that offer). A minute late she said suggested a peanut butter and nutella sandwich. If you have never had one, I highly suggest it. If you have it toasted, it is amazing.
It is odd the way memories coalesce out of the hurricane of thought. I was listening to NPR the other day. There is a great show on the weekend called The Splendid Table. It is a foodie show like few others. A caller asked for some advice on making a Monte Cristo. The host suggested doing it like a stuffed french toast, ham and cheese inside, dipped in egg and pan fried.
So...I made Nutella and Peanut Butter sandwiches, pressed them, dipped them in to sweetened custard, and fried them golden brown in butter. I heated up my homemade chocolate sauce, and got out some powdered sugar to top them...and I have to say:
It was fucking great.
So, A and I may not ever lose a pound, but at least (some of the time)it was for a good cause.
|
|
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
|
|
Saturday, September 12th, 2009
|
|
|
I have figured out the secret to life. There are some who will read this, and not be shocked that I did...matter of fact, some of you will be shocked I did not already know it...but for those of you that don't know...
You know, I could tell you, but just like most of my wisdom it would be like giving a monkey a credit card...I mean, in theory he could go get anything he wanted, but in reality he would consider it a worthless piece of plastic...maybe not useless, he'd probably chew on it a while.
...
Ok, I can't help but try...the secret is:
there is no secret
On a related note, I have started working on my next little tale. All I have to do, is keep doing it...
Damn I love me some me.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Wednesday, September 9th, 2009
|
|
|
No shortage of fun in this life...
Bought a new computer, learning to deal with new keyboard is giving me fits. Might have to go put the old one back on.
Uhm...time to do some writing...
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Thursday, August 6th, 2009
|
| Time: | 4:06 am. |
| Music: | Odin's Raven Magic. |
|
Went to John's funeral. It was good to go. I got to talk to his son (which is the only real reason I went). I got to know John just as I was having kids. He would constantly lecture me about being a good dad...putting family first. He told me countless stories about his son. I wanted to go to tell his son just how proud his father was of him. It was good to get that chance, and to see how well his son looked...John's pride was not just that of any dad, his son was a good looking, healthy, confident man...it was good to see. And I hope that my boys have the same words for me standing strongly beside my coffin.
I also, though I tried to avoid it, got to talk to his 'widow'. I could go on for volumes, but lets just say that I knew enough to know...lets just say that maybe her emotions where real, but they were a tad bit late. I always took John's stories with a grain of salt, him being the way he was, but within twenty seconds of talking to her, I knew the truth. It was in her attitude, the alcohol on her breath and her attitude throughout.
One last note:
It was good to see him one last time. There was some part of me that needed it. There was some part of me that could not accept it.
Good bye my friend. This world won't be the same without you.
|
|
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
|
|
|
On Friday I found out that a good friend of mine from work died. He was 56, and had a heart attack.
John was one of a kind...I was at a meeting with my boss, and she told us that there would be a person from EAP in to help people to deal with their grief. I smiled and laughed a little. I told her not to worry, John was an asshole, there wouldn't be too many upset people. She looked shocked for a minute. I told her that John took pride in how he was, and would be smiling to here me say it. Over the last two days, countless people have come up to me to express their feelings. Everyone knew he and I were friends. And at least a half dozen told me, with a very somber note, that the last conversation they had with him was an arguement...really!?! No shit, what were the odds of that...John argued with everyone all the time.
I was a mentor to him in the PO, he was always there to tell me not to take the job too seriously and to always remember to keep your family first. He always told the story of how his dad was a big exec in the PO and he died at 52. John always said he did not want to end up like him...he made it to 56.
Fuck...I am going to miss him. I am just about to go to Tour One, where I was looking forward to having him as my right hand man. He would always cause trouble, but I knew I could count on him.
Tuesday is his viewing, and I know I have to go. I want to tell his son a couple stories. John thought the world of him, and was very proud of him.
There are other stories to tell, but that is that...I am going to miss him...
|
|
Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
|
|
Thursday, July 30th, 2009
|
|
|
Haven't been online in a bit. Computer died, and I have a 'new' one hooked up.
It is a piece of crap, but it needs to hold me until Black Friday. A and I are willing to stick it out until we can get a crappy new cheap one.
On that note, I have the greatest wife. We were cleaning up the house today, and came across one of the end-of-year books from Mrs. Harding's class. She read a poem by Rhonda, then read one of mine (which was about Rhonda). It hit me, too late, that it could be taken the wrong way. A man that is inspired to write poems about you is a wonderfully romantic soul. One that writes poems to lots of women is a man with a good scam. She made an off hand comment, and I told her the truth: there are only two women in this world that I have written about(ok, that is not technically true, as I have written about several women...but only two in the romantic sense). I even went on to tell her that the poems got particularly sappy after we...got to know each other better(in the biblical sense). She stopped for a moment, looked at the book in her hand and said:
"I guess it was good practice."
There was a day that she would not have had that confidence, but she knows now. She knows that my heart is hers, and everything else besides.
Anyway...since you are the only one that reads this...it was great practice. Couldn't be here without you, and it seems that you have held out on the next step until you found someone that could surpass your memories of me(though they are not as bright as you remember them to be). I am glad we have both found our own ways, the length of the passageway is not nearly as important as the destination you reach (though all the destinations are merely guideposts on an even longer passageway).
Ok, time to head to bed...
|
|
Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
|
|
|
This morning was great. The more my wife is treated like a queen, the more she responds in turn...
In other news: I am a genius.
I told my boss for weeks that the end was nigh, and she kept on talking about worrying about today. And now all hell has broken loose on our new monster, and it turns out that I as right all along (not that I really had any doubt, but it is nice to hear her tone change).
NG better figure something new out, that or we have to change our view of what it is that we bought. Either way something has to change soon. So much for 18500...
Ok...time to go do a little writing before bed (back on the right path, after all).
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
|
The other day, I was contemplating my mortality. There were all the celebrity deaths, and every radio show was talking about people dying. And a silly question popped in to my head. If I found out that I had one year to live, what would I do.
The answer was right in front of me, and it kind of scared me how sure I was about it. I would try to write my book. The one that I really want to write. The one I have dreamed and redreamed and imagined and...well, you get the point.
Anyway, I'm really not ready to make that move yet. But I know that I need to get off the bench and get in the game (or some other non-sport cliche). R and I have gotten back in the saddle(I guess that is non-sport, I am sure that it was not about racehorses as much as it was about the plow horse...at least originally). I need to not just write this next story. I need to use it as a conduit for fleshing out all the things that need fleshing out. There is a whole world to breathe life in to, and I need to get busy!
Ok, off to bed (don't worry, I did lots of writing about my new story already).
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Wednesday, July 8th, 2009
|
|
|
Sent out first new work on Monday. We are back up and running with the writing circle. Time to see if I can do a better job than last time. Our first project is to really flesh out our ideas. To really think things through, and make our plans. I know that I learned a lot from the first time. Writing a book is harder than it looks. The big mistake that I made was in not seeing all the plot holes before hand. I ended up with a lot of stuff which needs rewriting because I did not have answers to some basic questions when I started. The holes were so big that it just about broke my will to edit my work. The other thing, and this is going to sound retardedly simple, is that I really did not do enough to give anyone a reason to like my protagonist, and I am not sure that there was enough to show why him winning the day was a good thing.
So...this time around, the villains have to be more sinister and the protagonist has to be more rootable (he is not meant to be purely likeable, but you have to want him to win the day...).
I suspect that the prework is going to take the rest of the summer (factoring in the vacation time and pace of summertime). By September I plan to be up and running with my new life pattern, and I want to make sure that I have allotted time for a new book in this pattern. Anyone with constructive advice for me, should know that I need whatever I can get before then...(I was never very good with subtle...).
Oh, and I hate it when other people are right all the time too...it makes it especially hard to be around me all the time...
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
|
Tomorrow (ok, my day after tomorrow, though the clock and the calender tell me that it is less than 24 hours away) is the first due date of our Writer's Circle (ok...so it is more like a writer's line, hard to work a circle out of two points). Though my heart wants me to rush forward foolishly (not to mention my lazy fear), I know that I need to 'practice' a little more. So, instead of writing what I really want to, I am going to 'waste' the next year writing another Rivven tale. Shit...it is going to be fun!
Ok...time to go do some plotting and stuff...
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
| Time: | 4:58 am. |
| Music: | Can you guess?. |
|
So...let me say that my biggest debt is in revealing human nature to me. I remember being in fourth grade. Everyone loved him. And I remember being in middle school and everyone thinking he was 'gay'(not in a homosexual way, but in a not cool way). I'll never forget that lesson. People are so full of shit. The sheepeople walk all around us. It is funny that he will always be the reason that I can understand the holocaust.
And...I really can't remember, but I suspect that I feigned my beliefs too...but now I am strong enough to stand on my own (though I must admit that it is tough some days, even now).
I remember going to Erols (over in Annandale, where a Korean restaurant now resides). It was in the days when they had beta on one side, and VHS on the other. M and I rented Thriller and watched it over and over. And I remember watching black or white on TV with my parents, it was amazing to see all the morphing faces.
And I remember all of the odd shit that would follow, which would forever taint my thoughts about him. (my first statement about his passing was a joke about watching a macualy culkin film lustily, in his honor).
Anyway...for the record, if I had to pick a favorite...it would be either Smooth Criminal, The Girl is Mine, or Scream (which Window's Media Player tells me is my favorite). Hmm...come to think of it, I think it might be ABC...
Ok, off to bed...(after I finish listening to Billie Jean)
|
|
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
|
|
Thursday, June 25th, 2009
|
|
|
Spent the last two days at the lake with the boys. W and his new poochie came down. It was a lot of fun. The boys both did great with the water. Faolin did good with his first time in the water. W picked up a half bushel of monster crabs on the way down. We ate for two days (and barely finished them!).
I finally made my crab curry (I have always wanted to make a curry and throw some crabs in it to simmer. It was pretty damn good! The meat came out an odd consistency, though.
I was nice to be down there, and it was the first time that I got a glimpse of the future. Wyatt was really good. In the past couple years, there was always a little baby with us, which made things more work than not. Someone was always stuck watching the baby instead of enjoying the lake. This time, Wyatt did really good. He played with us in the water (yea, I had to stay really close, but he did great). All in all, things look good going forward...
Ok...off to do some stuff around the house.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
|
You know, I used to never get sick. Then I stopped sleeping and had lots of kids running around...now I am sick all the time.
Anyway...off to my sick bed...
Oh...better or not, I am headed to the lake tomorrow with the boys to hang out with Uncle Will and his new poochie.
Should be fun!
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
|
I was driving down the road tonight, on my way home. On came 1979. It occurred to me that it was 2009, and on came a horribly trite realization that I am getting closer and closer to the grave. I would sure hate to look back, in those fleeting moments before the end, and know that I had given up because I was too fucking lazy.
My partner is having the same difficulty that I am in finding her footing up the mountain we have put in front of ourselves. It would suck to go about it all alone. Not having the help and fellowship would be only slightly less difficult than the knowledge that I had failed to help when the going was tough (I know I can nag and manipulate better than I have been...).
So...the time has come (though there be no time available) to start the story of a man named Rivven and his foray in to a new trade (yea, not the story I really want to do, but an important step towards the true goal).
Tick tock tick tock...the world keeps spinning, and the sun is slowly running out of fusionable materials...time to get going...
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Thursday, June 18th, 2009
|
|
|
Lets see...my two days off went by pretty normally...except for the trip to court. Did get 100 off my ticket (and you can only imagine how bad it was that I was able to get 100 of a ticket and still wince at the amount...perhaps I should learn to lay off the gas occasionally).
Made some good food. Another pot roast (though in truth I can still tell that my stock is lacking, it was sacrificed for a good purpose, though).
Anyway...I suppose I should head to bed...
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
|
Life has been interesting lately. Gotta love being back in the saddle, so to speak. Keeps things interesting.
Went to K's 'graduation' (we never had a ceremony for leaving elementary...but I guess a lot of folks did). It was boring and slow...but we were both very proud of K's medal for the science exam. Smartest girl out of her class.
About to send a counter offer off for the house at Nags Head. Not sure if we will get it, but stranger things have happened...
Ok...speaking of which, I need to sent off a note to our agent.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
|
I learned today that David Eddings passed away.
His Belgariad was the first fantasy epic that captured me (sorry...thirty page songs and 100 pages in a forest was a little dull). After finding the power of books, care of Mr. Whitfield's gift, I was hungry to find more. My seventh grade english teacher was a fantasy buff, and he kept his own private library. You could borrow any of his books. I got The Pawn Of Prophecy...and ran through the whole series in a blink. When I was done...man that bittersweet feeling of finishing something great, to stand finally at the end of a road, knowing that the journey is over. There were only two books out in the Mallorean, and I remember having long talks with Donald about what all the prophecy clues meant. It was a great time. I'll never forget the chapter with the man catching the plague. Silly as it is...
He was one of the few people I feel indebted to. One more that I will never get a chance to tell how much they shaped me. All that I want to do is based upon reading his series. Though the vision has flowed down new paths, it will never escape the basic roots. It all started as a blatant pale copy of his story. Even my tales of Rivven are based around wanting to read a full story about the youth of Silk.
I guess I better get busy before JW, JB, OSC all get beyond my reach...as a matter of fact...why wait...
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
therokenman's journal
ecstatic.
jubilant.
sad.